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[agnominal]

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[lovernotafighter]

[That's usually for the best.]

Hey, they don't call me 'Professor Fuck' for nothing.

[You're the only one who calls yourself that, Tucker. And this conversation here? Was a great example why.]

[agnominal]

Do they.

[ He highly doubts that. Can you hear the doubt in his voice, Tucker? ]

[lovernotafighter]

[Yes, and just as he does when Wash gets that very same tone, he easily ignores it.]

Damn right they do. I would write books on this stuff if I wasn't so busy with all the ladies.

[No. No, he's not doing that, either.]

[agnominal]

And pestering me. Apparently.

Why is this of interest to you?

[lovernotafighter]

It's not.

[Liar.]

I'm just bored and someone has to keep an eye on you.

[agnominal]

Are you afraid I will cause him harm?

[lovernotafighter]

I'm not afraid of anything.

[hahahaliar]

[agnominal]

Concern, then?

[lovernotafighter]

Don't read to far into this. I just smell a deep level of sad, sad sexual desperation and I had to follow my professorly obligations on helping. That's it.

[agnominal]

There is nothing that requires helping.

I want him to be happy. Nothing more is required.

[lovernotafighter]

God, you melodramatic fucks.

Whatever, Locus. Think about what I said; I'm sure you can find a wingman if you need one.

[agnominal]

I'm not interested in looking for someone else.

[ He didn't even intend to fall into this. Who would want to feel this way? ]

[lovernotafighter]

You sound like a depressed fourteen year old girl who's writing in her diary while crying and listening to bad music.

[Crazy people. But people who were a different sort of crazy than you, Locus.

And he didn't sound like that, but Tucker hadn't been nearly enough of an ass to him in this conversation and he was making up for lost time. He still didn't like you. Or something.]

[agnominal]

Because of my lack of interest?

[ No, do go on. Share in your infinite wisdom. ]

[lovernotafighter]

[So much wisdom. How does it all fit in one person?]

No, because of how you phrased it. Clearly, you've got a thing for him, but you're both being stupid about it. And I don't know why since it's all private and shit.

[Fuck. You guys.]

[agnominal]

I don't care to see him hurt. That is why.

[ And maybe Tucker at least will admit that someone like Locus? Very capable of bringing the hurt. ]

[lovernotafighter]

[Hurt. Maiming. Death. All of it. And this fucking jerk was trying to keep York away from it.

But Tucker sighed and ground his teeth together for a moment and just--

--Fuck it. One word.]

Pancakes.

[And no, that is not a safeword.]

[agnominal]

...what?

[lovernotafighter]

[God, seriously?]

If you like someone - really like someone - cook for them. Pancakes are cool because there's a million recipes for them and you can do some neat shit with shapes and designs and that, but it doesn't have to be that. In the end, they're happy to eat, and you get to give them something and actually watch them enjoy it. It's, I don't know, personal.

Besides, you can talk while cooking and eating, and it sounds like you guys have a shitton of backdated episodes to discuss.

[And there you go, bravado gone and some actual...advice? Maybe? But he did mean it.]

[agnominal]

[ Well. He wasn't expecting that. It's not bad advice, on the whole. Some of it seems viable. York has cooked before.

It's an avenue he hadn't considered. Might not go anywhere. But it might serve better than words. ]

Connie knows how to make them to a sufficient degree. It could be worth learning, regardless.

[lovernotafighter]

Connie is--

[Nope. Not talking about that, either. For once, this wasn't about Tucker and he was content to keep it that way.]

It's not that hard; you could just watch Space Youtube and be fine. But I'm sure she'd help, too.

[agnominal]

[ Hm. Interesting. Tucker usually speaks his mind pretty freely.

Well, he won't pry. One of them has to show some restraint. ]

Perhaps. I had intended to ask her about future sparring matches, regardless.

[lovernotafighter]

[Hey! He showed some, a little, a tiny bit. ]

So, why him, anyway?

[agnominal]

[ That takes him off guard. He falls silent for a moment, considering. ]

...he has many admirable traits.

[ God this feels awkward. Why are you doing this to him? ]

[lovernotafighter]

You mean he's hot?

[And friendly. Tucker liked him, found him to be pretty cool, but it had to be more than that, right?

And it's totally awkward, but hell if Tucker wasn't nosy.]