He chose to remain friends. Nothing more. I respected his decision.
[ There's a whiff of tone there that says that he's not entirely happy about that, but he's still...
Putting himself out there like that? Was terrifying. He'd bared his soul, left himself vulnerable, and gotten bitter disappointment in return. No more. He's done with it. York wishes to be friends? That will have to be enough. ]
[Regardless of how poetic Locus makes it, that sounds a lot like "it might hurt so I don't want to do it," which is...kind of pathetic and absolutely stupid, really.]
You mean to tell me that York backed out because it might not be permanent and breaking up hurts, and you bought that? That is the worst excuse ever. Of all time. He's being a coward and you're letting him get away with it!
[ It's the first time in a long while Locus has raised his voice. But the second Wash lays that title at York's feet, Locus feels the rage boil quick and hot to the surface.
No. No. He'll take that title before he lets him try to pin it on York. Self-preservation and cowardice are nothing alike. ]
[For a moment, the temptation to snap and yell back is there, but Locus yelling is not the same as Blood Gulch yelling and he swallows it down. When he speaks, he's vehement, but at least the volume is level.]
Yeah. I know. That's one of the reasons I'm actually encouraging this.
But he backed out because he's afraid of pain, that he's probably dealt with before, and that might not even happen! Yeah. He's being a fucking coward. He's too afraid of pain to be part of a good thing that was pretty much handed to him!
He is not obligated to take it. It is his choice, not yours.
[ At least he's not yelling anymore, even if he is seeing red. No. The next time he speaks, he's gone very, very quiet. ]
I remember, Washington, what it is to be told how lucky you are to have someone. How grateful you should feel that someone hold interest in you. I know how much I grew to resent it, and to resent how I felt.
[It always comes back to Felix, doesn't it. One death for that man was not nearly enough.]
[His tone is as calm as he can make it, because at least one of them needs that calm.]
You realize there's a huge difference between calling someone out on their bullshit and putting them on a leash. This conversation is nowhere near the latter option. You are nowhere near the latter option.
But, it's good that you recognize it. [Credit where credit is due.]
I'm not planning on telling him that he should be fucking grateful that you like him, and I doubt you are either. I plan on telling him he's making a shitty decision for shitty reasons, because as his friend, it's my responsibility to call him out when he does dumb things. That's what friends do.
[Egg on the shitty decisions that are small and hilarious, try to prevent the ones that are life-altering.]
[ Some of that anger simmers and dissipates, and he falls silent for a time, listening to Wash as he speaks. He only knows what he's lived, and it's not the best example to go by, granted.
But the fear is there. He could hurt York, quite severely, and worst of all without intending to. ]
Would it be so terrible if we remained friends? If he could be unafraid for a time.
How long do you think that'll last? You're attracted to each other, you both know the feelings are mutual, and you're already very touchy-feely.
...which I'm pretty sure is mostly York's fault, but still. Better to cement it now, with mutual understanding, than pine for each other and fall in bed together the first time you both get drunk.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
[ There's a whiff of tone there that says that he's not entirely happy about that, but he's still...
Putting himself out there like that? Was terrifying. He'd bared his soul, left himself vulnerable, and gotten bitter disappointment in return. No more. He's done with it. York wishes to be friends? That will have to be enough. ]
no subject
Did he tell you why he chose that?
no subject
[ But how to explain it in a way Washington will understand? ]
...you know he does not only give a part of himself, in this. It is all or it is nothing.
[ He's arriving at a point here, Wash, bear with him. ]
no subject
[He'd been there for the Carolina spectacle. He absolutely knows.]
[Keep going.]
no subject
What would compel you to do so voluntarily, knowing with certainty that this too would inevitably end, and tear away another piece of you?
[ The answer? Not him. York had made that clear. ]
no subject
[Regardless of how poetic Locus makes it, that sounds a lot like "it might hurt so I don't want to do it," which is...kind of pathetic and absolutely stupid, really.]
You mean to tell me that York backed out because it might not be permanent and breaking up hurts, and you bought that? That is the worst excuse ever. Of all time. He's being a coward and you're letting him get away with it!
no subject
[ It's the first time in a long while Locus has raised his voice. But the second Wash lays that title at York's feet, Locus feels the rage boil quick and hot to the surface.
No. No. He'll take that title before he lets him try to pin it on York. Self-preservation and cowardice are nothing alike. ]
no subject
Yeah. I know. That's one of the reasons I'm actually encouraging this.
But he backed out because he's afraid of pain, that he's probably dealt with before, and that might not even happen! Yeah. He's being a fucking coward. He's too afraid of pain to be part of a good thing that was pretty much handed to him!
no subject
[ At least he's not yelling anymore, even if he is seeing red. No. The next time he speaks, he's gone very, very quiet. ]
I remember, Washington, what it is to be told how lucky you are to have someone. How grateful you should feel that someone hold interest in you. I know how much I grew to resent it, and to resent how I felt.
[ We need each other. ]
I will not be that to him. Do you understand me?
no subject
[His tone is as calm as he can make it, because at least one of them needs that calm.]
You realize there's a huge difference between calling someone out on their bullshit and putting them on a leash. This conversation is nowhere near the latter option. You are nowhere near the latter option.
But, it's good that you recognize it. [Credit where credit is due.]
I'm not planning on telling him that he should be fucking grateful that you like him, and I doubt you are either. I plan on telling him he's making a shitty decision for shitty reasons, because as his friend, it's my responsibility to call him out when he does dumb things. That's what friends do.
[Egg on the shitty decisions that are small and hilarious, try to prevent the ones that are life-altering.]
no subject
But the fear is there. He could hurt York, quite severely, and worst of all without intending to. ]
Would it be so terrible if we remained friends? If he could be unafraid for a time.
no subject
...which I'm pretty sure is mostly York's fault, but still. Better to cement it now, with mutual understanding, than pine for each other and fall in bed together the first time you both get drunk.
no subject
[ Not entirely without incident, but. Alright. Wash has a decent point there.
There's the sound of Locus shifting, in lieu of talk. Thinking. ]
I can be here if he decides otherwise. Anything more and...
[ There are lines. Boundaries. He's learning. ]
no subject
[He's pretty audibly joking - time shenanigans don't really count.]
[But Locus' next words are serious, and he takes them as such.]
Got it.
This is why it's my job to yell at him when he's being an idiot. It'll be yours once you master the fine art of telling York he's a jackass.
no subject
Only he could be the judge of that.