Dude, I meant the good guys. Innocents. Not assholes who have it coming.
[Ugh, don't make him have to spell it out for you. He sighed a little, holding the kitten up to look her in the eyes before handing her back to Locus. Guy was opening up; he needed her more than he did.]
Yeah, you sound super enthused about friends there, Locus. [He sagged in the seat.] I'm not going to get in the way of your friendships, you know. Whatever you got set up before I got here and if it's helping you, I don't want to fuck that up. I should, but I don't want to.
[ Luna is taken back with a careful hand, and as soon as she's back in his arms? She rolls and stretches languidly before draping herself along the length of his arm, to continue snoozing gracefully. Locus gives her ear a tender stroke. ]
I may not sound enthused, but I am grateful. It was not something I expected. Particularly not in Washington's case, given our history.
Then again, perhaps I should have. He knows better than most what a second chance is worth.
You're being pretty heavy-handed with that, you know.
[The sentiment, not the kitten, but Tucker groaned all the same. He got it; who knew what Wash would have turned into if they Reds and Blues hadn't given him another chance. This was what they did, from Wash to Doc and the people in between. It was stupid, it was reckless, but it's what saved some of them.]
I just...need some time. I lost something important because of the shit you did, and I can't--
I just can't yet. Not...not yet. But-- [He squared his shoulders.] --it's not all your fault, either. And I know that, too.
[ At that, he studies him for a moment, brow furrowing slightly. Who did they lose? They appeared to have the same numbers in the media coverage that followed the liberation of Chorus. Washington and Carolina. The Reds, the Blues...
Ah. Realization flickers across his face briefly. ]
Epsilon.
[ The last remaining AI from Project Freelancer. There'd been no further record of him, no appearance. It was, to his mind, a reasonable guess. ]
[He corrected him, had to even if he knew they were ultimately different people; Alpha was who he spent Blood Gulch with, Epsilon didn't remember any of that. Epsilon actually said goodbye to him, even if both of their deaths were sacrifices in the end.
Church was a blanket, both of them and neither of them at the same time.
Ugh, but Locus figured it out and he still hadn't told--]
Don't say anything to Wash, okay? Time travel bullshit and all that.
[ He has no reason to hide it from Wash, save that Tucker has asked him to. But he's trying to earn something like goodwill here, isn't he? Proving that he's not the same person anymore.
So he gives a short nod. Yes. Alright. He'll keep it to himself. ]
I am sorry for your loss. And my part in it. For what that may be worth.
[He probably shouldn't have said anything when he was the one that pretty much killed his partner, but Felix was an asshole. Well, a different kind of asshole than Epsilon was. He was a fucking monster.
Church didn't deserve this. Church didn't deserve any of the shit that happened to him again and again and again.]
He died to fucking protect us because of Charon. Because of all that shit that lead up to that room, including you guys. We didn't want it, no one wanted it, and people died! Now I have to live with--
[the silence after the suit when everything was quiet and empty and dead]
I know it doesn't. But it is a truth. I felt you should know, regardless.
[ But he understands not wanting to talk about the dead. He certainly doesn't like talking about Felix, even during his sessions with the doctor. He might recommend Tucker speak to her, but honestly, the poor woman doesn't need another soldier from their world on her schedule. ]
We don't need to speak of what happened. If you find the need, however, I will be here. I owe you whatever assistance I can offer, given the circumstances.
[God, the formality of it all; he wasn't used to this shit. He didn't like this shit; it made him uncomfortable. Gloves tapped at the chair as he looked at anything around the place other than Locus.
What the hell was he supposed to do with that offer? What the hel--]
...Spar with me.
[And he turned his face back to him, glaring at him through the helmet.] Not now, but soon. You want to help? That's how you can do it.
[Because he wanted to kick the ass of the person who indirectly killed his best friend. And if he couldn't kick his ass, then he wanted to learn how to. He wanted to make sure that he could beat his demons so shit like this never happened again, so he could protect his friends that were here. And he would keep trying until it happened.
[ He didn't use it, but against Tucker? Against one of its own? It seemed more fitting.
Locus gave a nod, something almost approving in the gesture. Tucker's reasoning, though unexplained out loud, seems to line up with his own. It would be a good way to work out his aggression, and give him an opportunity to strike back at him without repercussion. ANd if he learned something in the process? It would only strengthen the team as a whole. ]
Should I refrain from telling Washington of this, as well?
Yeah, but mostly because I don't want him knowing I'm actually choosing to do work. He'll think his training had something to do with it, and I don't want him getting a big head.
...bowchickabowwow.
[Well, at least they had a plan now, some sort of ground they could stand on. It probably wasn't the bonding and forgiveness that most people wanted from him, but it was something. Chorus wasn't built in a night, or whatever. Standing up, he started towards the door, before stopping.]
If you need someone to catsit sometime, put me on that list.
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no subject
[Ugh, don't make him have to spell it out for you. He sighed a little, holding the kitten up to look her in the eyes before handing her back to Locus. Guy was opening up; he needed her more than he did.]
Yeah, you sound super enthused about friends there, Locus. [He sagged in the seat.] I'm not going to get in the way of your friendships, you know. Whatever you got set up before I got here and if it's helping you, I don't want to fuck that up. I should, but I don't want to.
no subject
I may not sound enthused, but I am grateful. It was not something I expected. Particularly not in Washington's case, given our history.
Then again, perhaps I should have. He knows better than most what a second chance is worth.
no subject
[The sentiment, not the kitten, but Tucker groaned all the same. He got it; who knew what Wash would have turned into if they Reds and Blues hadn't given him another chance. This was what they did, from Wash to Doc and the people in between. It was stupid, it was reckless, but it's what saved some of them.]
I just...need some time. I lost something important because of the shit you did, and I can't--
I just can't yet. Not...not yet. But-- [He squared his shoulders.] --it's not all your fault, either. And I know that, too.
no subject
Ah. Realization flickers across his face briefly. ]
Epsilon.
[ The last remaining AI from Project Freelancer. There'd been no further record of him, no appearance. It was, to his mind, a reasonable guess. ]
no subject
Church.
[He corrected him, had to even if he knew they were ultimately different people; Alpha was who he spent Blood Gulch with, Epsilon didn't remember any of that. Epsilon actually said goodbye to him, even if both of their deaths were sacrifices in the end.
Church was a blanket, both of them and neither of them at the same time.
Ugh, but Locus figured it out and he still hadn't told--]
Don't say anything to Wash, okay? Time travel bullshit and all that.
[But hell, did Tucker want to talk about it...]
no subject
So he gives a short nod. Yes. Alright. He'll keep it to himself. ]
I am sorry for your loss. And my part in it. For what that may be worth.
[ It probably isn't much, but. There it is. ]
no subject
[He probably shouldn't have said anything when he was the one that pretty much killed his partner, but Felix was an asshole. Well, a different kind of asshole than Epsilon was. He was a fucking monster.
Church didn't deserve this. Church didn't deserve any of the shit that happened to him again and again and again.]
He died to fucking protect us because of Charon. Because of all that shit that lead up to that room, including you guys. We didn't want it, no one wanted it, and people died! Now I have to live with--
[the silence after the suit when everything was quiet and empty and dead]
I don't want to talk about him!
no subject
[ But he understands not wanting to talk about the dead. He certainly doesn't like talking about Felix, even during his sessions with the doctor. He might recommend Tucker speak to her, but honestly, the poor woman doesn't need another soldier from their world on her schedule. ]
We don't need to speak of what happened. If you find the need, however, I will be here. I owe you whatever assistance I can offer, given the circumstances.
no subject
What the hell was he supposed to do with that offer? What the hel--]
...Spar with me.
[And he turned his face back to him, glaring at him through the helmet.] Not now, but soon. You want to help? That's how you can do it.
[Because he wanted to kick the ass of the person who indirectly killed his best friend. And if he couldn't kick his ass, then he wanted to learn how to. He wanted to make sure that he could beat his demons so shit like this never happened again, so he could protect his friends that were here. And he would keep trying until it happened.
Determined was sort of what Tucker did.]
You come with your sword?
no subject
[ He didn't use it, but against Tucker? Against one of its own? It seemed more fitting.
Locus gave a nod, something almost approving in the gesture. Tucker's reasoning, though unexplained out loud, seems to line up with his own. It would be a good way to work out his aggression, and give him an opportunity to strike back at him without repercussion. ANd if he learned something in the process? It would only strengthen the team as a whole. ]
Should I refrain from telling Washington of this, as well?
no subject
...bowchickabowwow.
[Well, at least they had a plan now, some sort of ground they could stand on. It probably wasn't the bonding and forgiveness that most people wanted from him, but it was something. Chorus wasn't built in a night, or whatever. Standing up, he started towards the door, before stopping.]
If you need someone to catsit sometime, put me on that list.
[What? He liked cats.]