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[agnominal]

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[agnominal]

My feelings on the matter are irrelevant. Most of all to you.

[unrecovered]

Funny story: "feelings" is a step up from "undecided." So now that you've decided you have them, let's talk.

[agnominal]

Feelings can include 'apathy' you realize.

[unrecovered]

Actually, by definition, they can't.

And I already know you're not apathetic towards York, so try again.

[agnominal]

This is not a concern of yours.

[unrecovered]

It's about the well-being of my friends, so yeah, it kind of is.

[agnominal]

And what do you intend to do with that knowledge?

[unrecovered]

Help you figure this out, since it's pretty obvious neither of you know what you're doing.

[agnominal]

And you do.

[ Dubious tone is dubious, Wash. He trusts your word on a great deal, but relationships?

He's read your profile. A lot. ]

[unrecovered]

More than either of you right now.

[Which isn't the highest of bars, but right now, it's enough.]

[agnominal]

Then tell me. What would you do?

[unrecovered]

Actually talk with him, for starters.

[agnominal]

So he can make his discomfort with the situation more clear? Unnecessary.

[unrecovered]

No, so he can tell you exactly what he feels and you can stop putting words in his mouth. You'd be surprised what you can accomplish when you stop assigning arbitrary parameters to a situation and actually use your words.

[agnominal]

[ There's a considerable silence. ]

He has made his position clear in the past. He views us as friends. He does not wish for anything else.

The parameters are far from arbitrary, Washington. He set them himself. And I will not presume to breech them if he is not comfortable with the situation. I would not risk our friendship.

[unrecovered]

[Silence means Locus is thinking about it. After Wash's conversation with York, it's worth pressing.]

Yeah, well, that was before you made a move on him and gave him something to think about.

You realize things aren't magically going to go back to the way they were before, right? You changed things and now you need to talk about it, because you're not a mind reader and neither is York and talking is the only way either of you is going to know what the other one is thinking.

[agnominal]

It was a mistake.

I know him well enough to know that he will ignore it, given time to excuse it.

[unrecovered]

You've known him for months. I've known him for years. He wouldn't have come to me to talk about it if he was planning on ignoring it.

[agnominal]

He deserves better.

[ And that's the thing he's fixated on for all this time. The reason he hasn't just come out with it, said something before now. ]

[unrecovered]

[Oh.]

[He knows that talking to Locus is like looking in a mirror sometimes, but it still takes him by surprise every time Locus throws those parallels into sharp relief.]

[God damn but they are fucked up.]

...if he wants you, then that doesn't matter.

You need to talk to him.

[agnominal]

Of course it matters. You're his friend.

[ There's an exhale, frustration evident. ]

Even if...even if that were true, and he did. He has a habit of wanting things that are not good for him.

[unrecovered]

No kidding. That's why he's an idiot.

But he's a lot more self-aware now than he used to be, and so are you, and we're in an environment where you have the time and infrastructure to actually make this work if you want to give it a try. Hell, you can even get relationship counseling if you need to, and when was the last time that option was on the table?

As his friend, I want to see him happy in a way that might actually be good for him. Believe it or not, you're good for him.

[agnominal]

...you truly believe that?

[unrecovered]

Yeah. He doesn't have to worry about Freelancer baggage around you, and you keep him grounded in a way a lot of us can't.

[They both know about York's bouts of derealization. Locus is a hell of a lot better at resolving those than Wash will ever be.]

[agnominal]

This could go very poorly, you realize.